My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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