I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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