How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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