and my herpes radar will keep us safe
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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