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you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
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