I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize