in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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