you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize