She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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