god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize