You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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