spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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