Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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