Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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