I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My ass is underappreciated
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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