yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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