so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
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Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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