Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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