She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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