He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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