You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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