I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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