He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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