Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize