what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize