Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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