yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
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we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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