Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize