do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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