He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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