I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize