ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize