More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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