A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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