her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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