The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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