i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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