Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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