I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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