just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize