1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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