I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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