Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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