This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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