You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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