if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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