a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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