I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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