My hand turned me down
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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