i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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